Marital advice and tips for building a healthy and successful relationship Part 2
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Marital Advice No: 5 – in building a successful marriage is forgive and don’t bring it up again.
The fifth marital advice I want to share with you is to forgive the wrongs that your partner may have done you and don’t bring it up again. Marriage is about two imperfect people trying to build a home, so we are bound to do things that hurt our spouses either consciously or unconsciously.
Our spouses will doubtless offend us, but if you truly want a happy marriage then please take this marital advice onboard. Your relationship cannot grow if you don’t forgive because you have trapped your spouse in their past mistake, and therefore when you look at them all you see is the wrong they’ve done to you and as a result the relationship can’t make progress because you haven’t released your hurt and pain.
It takes maturity to forgive because forgiveness doesn’t come naturally, it is a divine attribute. It is easier to hold a grudge than to forgive, it takes a mature person to forgive and that’s why marriage is not for kids, its for grown ups who are prepared to deal with the challenges that come with marriage, and age doesn’t determine whether you’re grown up I’ve met 50 year old babies and 18 year olds that are more mature than most adults I know.
When you do forgive, please let it end there. Don’t bring it up again, many claim they have forgiven their spouse for something but then bring up past issues whenever another disagreement occurs. This will damage the health and trust in your relationship, it will also affect the freedom your partner has with you because they will always feel like you can’t see past their faults.
Marital Advice No: 6 – in building a successful marriage is Don’t stop courting.
This is another essential marital advice that I plead with you to take onboard. Many couples stop courting just because they are now married. They start to get too familiar with each other and don’t make an effort for their husband or wife anymore.
The gifts stop coming, you no longer go out for dinner or to the cinema, you just let yourself go, you no longer dress to impress your spouse, you no longer care about staying in shape to stay attractive to your spouse. You stop doing all the things you used to do to impress your husband or wife before you got married.
I plead with you not to let this happen in your marriage, don’t become too familiar with each other, don’t stop making the effort for each other, don’t start taking each other for granted because someone is praying to God to have a wife or a husband just like yours, you have one but you no longer appreciate it. You no longer express the love you have for one another and assume “well she should just know that I love her” or “he should just know i love him, afterall I do x and y for him”
Continue to overwhelm your spouse with gestures of love so that they don’t begin to think that the grass is greener on the other side. Don’t stop courting.
Marital Advice No: 7 – in building a successful marriage is Make love regularly.
The seventh marital advice I want to share with you is to make love regularly. Never let intimacy die in your marriage because intimacy is one of the major elements that help the two of you become one.
Intimacy says to your partner, “he still wants me” or “she still wants me”, love making is the ultimate expression of love in marriage. By love making I don’t mean unpassionate and selfish sex where you are only concerned about gratifying yourself. I mean taking the time to show you spouse that you care, that you love them, that they mean the world to you and you want to express this by making sure you satisfy them emotionally, spiritually as well as sexually.
You need to make love passionately and regularly to keep the romance alive. Some marriages however have lost the passion in their sex life. This might be because they have a partner that doesn’t understand their sexual needs. As a result they might only make love once in a while and in worst cases some couples don’t even bother with making love anymore yet intimacy is one of the key elements in keeping the romantic fire alive in marriage.
Marital advice No: 8 – in building a successful marriage is Honesty
Growing up my parents used to tell me that “honesty is the best policy” nowhere is this more true than in marriage. We are often told that the bedrock of any relationship is trust; honesty is what gives birth to trust and that’s what this particular marital advice is all about. Once there is dishonesty, the trust is damaged and once there is no trust the relationship becomes very unpleasant.
Where there is no trust your partner wants to know your every move, where have you been? Who were you talking to on the phone? Who is that guy I saw you with yesterday? No one wants to be in a relationship where they are doubted and not trusted, no one wants to be in a relationship where everything they do is scrutinised. Such a relationship is headed for failure if things do not change.
It is therefore important to maintain honesty in marriage and in any relationship for that matter, but more so in marriage. Don’t tell white lies, if you lie about the little things how can your spouse be sure that you are not being dishonest about bigger things – this can lead to mistrust (as I have personally learnt).
Also be accountable to your spouse, let them know where you are at any given time, if for example you initially told them you were going to the gym but plans changed and you needed to go to the supermarket, call them and tell them. You don’t want a situation where a friend of your spouse see’ you and in conversation they later tell your spouse that they saw you in the supermarket. Your spouse might start thinking “I thought he said he was going to the gym”
Making yourself open and accountable to your partner can help stop such potential misunderstandings that can lead to mistrust in a relationship. If you can implement this marital advice, you will save yourself so much unnecessary hassle.
Honesty also means not cheating; it means remaining faithful to your partner and not having marital affairs behind their back. I will deal with this in the How to save your marriage section. Click on the save marriage button on the Navigation Bar to go to the how to save your marriage section.
by SirPaul12 on 2017-07-17 10:17:13
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